How the Weasley Twins Saved the World
by Aurora BoreAlice
Summary: How Fred and George Weasley use their, not inconsiderable, wits, charm and good looks to save the day! The wizarding world never knew what hit them!
1. Chapter 1

I don't own Harry Potter, but I am a co-owner for WWW.

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"Gred, old boy?"

"Yes, Feorge, old chum?"

"I reckon by now all those ickle firsties will be-"

"-snug in bed? Relaxing after-"

"-not needing to fight a troll? Not even-"

"-thinking that some right respectable-"

"-_handsome-_" Both boys chimed in together.

"Right. Handsome, young lads might be-"

"-getting ready to welcome them properly to our school?"

"Mate, you took the words right out of my mouth."

One twin looked at the other, and identical grins spread across their faces. Bright shocks of hair were well hidden beneath two identical black knit hats as the boys crouched in a dark corner of the Common Room and waited. They had been anticipating this night for the last two years. The night when their ickle brother came to Hogwarts. Because as satisfying as it was to prank the new Gryffindors, it was infinitely more satisfying now that their baby brother was part of it.

Chuckled to themselves they readied their ammo of dungbombs, feathers and glue and checked over their plan once more. They had always felt lucky that their twin magic gave them an edge in their pranks. They never needed to say much to be perfectly understood by the other. So there was very little chance of their being overheard and caught.

"First, ickle Ronnikins. Then to the left."

"Then to the right. Light the bomb-"

"-set the wires-"

"Then run like the dungeon bat himself was after us!"

"Brilliant." They agreed as Fred pulled a faded piece of parchment out of his pocket.

"Care to do the honors, George?" He unfolded it and presented it like a crown to a king.

"With great pleasure, Fred!"

Clearing his throat dramatically, George tapped the parchment with his wand and intoned, "I solely swear I am up to no good!"

The magic of the map spread across the parchment and the familiar greeting from the Mauraders filled the page. Grinning both boys leaned over the map and found the fifth year boys dormitory.

As they scanned the map they smirked. It seems they were in luck. Prefect Percy was tucked cozily in bed, nary a care in the world. Well, it was certainly time to do something about that!

"Excellent. Right, brother of mine let's-" Fred started to fold up the map and stand, but George put a hand out to stop him, a confused look on his face.

"Just a moment. Hello, what's this?" He spread out the map again and trained his eyes on the first year boys dormitory.

Fred followed his twins line of sight and looked for what the other red head had spotted. It didn't take him long, and when he did both boys shared a look and a low whistle.

"Fred, unless the map has lost it-"

"Which is highly unlikely."

"True. Then some slimly old codger is in our little brother bed right now."

The twins sat still for a moment more before coming to a silent agreement. Nodding they stood and crept silently up the stairs, carefully to step over the trick step. Moving like two shadows they entered their little brothers dormitory and over to his bed.

The drapes were drawn shut and their older brotherly instincts were yelling at them that this was not good. So carefully they eased one of the corners open, wands drawn and ready to start hexing the daylights out of someone. But they were surprised to only see Ron snoring away with his pet rat on his pillow snoring just as loudly.

They eased back out and pulled out the map again. Sure enough there it was, 'Peter Pettigrew', showing sitting just to the left of Ron. But there was no one there but the bloody rat! Fred stared at the two for a moment more, then froze as a horrible thought crossed his mind.

Motioning frantically to his twin they hurried back down to the Common Room.

"Odd, the map _must _be on the fritz. The only living things there are Ron and that stupid fat rat." George looked at his twin and frowned at the serious look on his face. "Or not…"

"George, how many times have we kept clear of Mrs. Norris because of the map? Does it ever show anything but her name?" He already knew it didn't, but he needed to see if his twin would think the same way.

"Never, it only shows real names, even if they don't want you to know their real name. Odd, I wonder why Scabbers didn't show up on…the…map….Unless he does. Just not as Scabbers." Two pairs of brown eyes were wide in horror as it clicked. Some bloody sodding git was pretending to be their little brother pet!

With a shared sigh they stood up and walked towards the portrait hole.

"McGonagall's not going to like this one bit." Fred reasoned as they made their way to their head of houses' chambers.

"True," George said with a shrug. Then with a small grin he said, "But I'll bet the memory of when she-"

"-catches the dirty rat will go for-"

"-ten galleons a piece when we sell it."

Clapping a hand on his twins shoulder Fred grinned back, "Brother of mine, I like the way we think!"

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**A/N's: I hope you enjoyed that one shot! It occurred to me that Fred and George have a magic map they can use to see anyone in Hogwarts and for three years they have to have seen some creeper named Peter hanging around their little brother, but they do nothing. What?**

**Thanks to Shona-Ann for reading my insomnia scribbles again!**

**This will remain a oneshot unless inspiration falls from the sky in the form of a muse, or reviews *hint hint*. Have a nice day!**


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I only wish I owned Fred and George. If I had they'd both still be alive today. *sob sob sob*

F&G&F&G&F&G

Chapter 2

Minerva McGonagal had not had a decent nights sleep the first night of term since the Weasley Twins had first come to Hogwarts.

First year it was Filch pounding on her door with two mud covered red heads raving about the Whomping Willow and dung bombs.

Their second year it was Snape coming to get her when some of his Snakes had been hit with some sort of concoction that made them come on in red and gold spots. They'd found the twins an hour later trying to sneak out of the dungeons.

This year she'd gone to bed optimistic that at the very least any pranking they'd be doing would include their own brother and could be dealt with in the morning. However at a bit past midnight there was a knock on her office door.

With a resigned sigh she folded back her covers and sat up. "Just a moment!" Slipping on her shoes and wrapping up in a tartan robe she made her way to the door of her office and opened it slowly. Years of teacher teenagers had taught her never to give would be pranksters an opening so easily.

Without an ounce of shock she spied the two red head twins outside her door. So taking a deep breathe through her nose and out her mouth Minerva sighed, "Misters Weasley. What a surprise."

Fred and George shared a nervous look quickly. The woman was formidable, even this late at night.

"Evening Professor," they both replied with a short bow of their heads. "Could we talk to you for a moment?"

A thin brow rose over her left eye at the humble display and she began to wonder just what they'd done so wrong that they felt the need to be polite. "You are, of course, aware of the time Mister Weasley? As well as the fact that you and your brother are out of bed wandering the halls?" Her sharp eye landed on Fred making him swallow nervously.

With another deep breathe to keep calm she stepped to the side and let them enter her office and take a seat. Neither boy dared say anything until she had taken a seat behind her desk and settled with her hands clasped before her.

"Now, explain."

The boys took a deep breathe and began.

"You see, Professor, we were getting ready to prank our little brother-" George began.

"NOT that we actually did mind you." Fred cut in before she could begin to reprimand them.

"Very true, so anyways we were all set to go when we, er, noticed something strange…" he trailed off with a look at his brother. Should they show her the map? She was sure to take it away from them. Fred shook his head and took over.

"You see, Professor, we think some old man has snuck into the first years dorm room and is watching them."

Minerva gaped and sat forward, "_What… _di' ye say what I think ye said? There's an adult in their dorm room?" She stood up in a rage, eyes burning. No one threatened her cubs! George and Fred were glad that such anger was not aimed towards them and smirked a little. "You two will accompany me there at once and point him out! What did he look like?"

"Yes, Professor. We think he's hiding there as our little brothers pet rat." Both boys jumped to their feet, quite enjoying the show.

However she paused and cast a searching look at them both, "Your brothers..Scabbers? Percival's old pet?"

They nodded and walked over to the door, "Yes! He must be an animagus or something Professor! He's always been an odd rat."

But as they reached the door and looked back they saw a furious Professor McGonagal, however her stern gaze seemed to be focused on them now.

Slowly she walked over and clasped her hands in front of her, looking down at the boys through her glasses, "And just what proof, Misters Weasley, do you have of this?"

Fred debated a moment before answering, "We, er, we know what his real name is…."

George waited a moment to see if she was going to say anything before continuing, "You see, Professor, we think his name is Peter Pettigrew-"

The room fell silent for a moment as George drew breath to continue. And then Mt. McGonagal erupted.

"MISTER WEASLEY! OF ALL THE IMMATURE AND BAD PRANKS! I HAVE _NEVER-_"

Noth twins near levitated without magic at the booming yell.

"But, Professor-!" A shocked Fred began.

"I EXPECTED BETTER OF YOU TWO THAN TO SPOUT SUCH HORRID THINGS ABOUT THE DEAD-"

"Dead? No, he's sitting up there right now-"

"DO NOT START THAT WITH ME LADS!" Reaching out she took an identical ear in each hand and began to frog march them down the hallway, berating them all the way.

"Ow, ow, ow…no really Professor! We can prove it! Ow!" George tried as they came closer to the Gryffindor Common Room.

"Detention!" she yelled as the Fat Lady saw them coming and swung open without even asking the password. So through the portal they went where she finally released their ears. In a hurry Fred pulled the map out of his pocket and waved it.

"Please, Professor! Let me show you! Look!" He pulled out his wand and tapped the blank parchment, "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good-"

"_I'LL SAY YOU ARE!_" she roared before he could show her the ink spreading over the paper. By now the yelling had dorm rooms opening to see just what the problem was. Percy in his night clothes was the first down the stairs.

"Professor McGonagal? What's going on?" He eyed his brothers who were whispering to each other and looking quite crestfallen. No one saw them pocket the map again in the commotion.

"Ah, Mister Weasley," she began, turning to the Prefect, "You're brothers attempted a prank of most bad taste tonight. They will be serving detention with Mr. Filch for the foreseeable future every night."

"Every night!" George yelped before his twin could hush him. Fred looked just as flabbergasted and asked, "For how long!"

The elderly witch's nostrils flared and both boys gulped and shut up quickly. "Until I ask you to stop Misters Weasley." She looked around at the sleepy lions now filling the common room and raised her voice, "I hope that this will set a good example. Here at Hogwarts we expect our students to behave with a certain level of respect," her fiery gaze found the twins again making them flinch, "ANY rule breaking or behavior so disgusting as what these two displayed tonight will be stopped. _Quickly and with harsh punishments._ Am I understood!"

All the students were quick to nod and murmured their understanding. Their eyes kept seeking out the now bright red faces of the twins, wondering just what they'd done to get McGonagal in a rage like this.

"Good. Now, back to bed. All of you!" Turning to the twins as the room emptied she murmured, "Meet Mr. Filch outside the Great Hall after dinner and he will instruct you in your detention. Go to bed, and heaven help you if I catch you out again tonight for _any_ reason, or you'll be in detention every night for the rest of the year."

Gathering her robe she turned and marched out of the room, the portrait slamming with a resounding crack.

Once she was alone in her rooms again Minerva allowed the tears to fall once more for her foolish brave student and his tragic death.

Fred and George stood stock still after she left and just let Percy get his screaming fit over before he sent them to their dorms. Sitting on Fred's bed they plotted. If the teachers wouldn't believe them, they'd just have to figure out a way to get rid of the rat themselves.

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**A/N's: I hope you enjoyed the show more than Fred and George did! What do you think? How should the try and 'rat' Peter out to McGonagal?**

**Reviews are to me what cans of ****spinach are to Popeye!**


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